ANOTHER BREATH.

Splinters buried to the bone. Headaches like aneurysms - One can only hope. Nightmares ever harder to control. Always in the back of my mind. Never letting go. No, I can't explain this to you because it's different for everyone but I feel like I'm drowning face down in the bathtub. Too weak to pick my head up. This is the voice of nothing. Nothing left to gain. And I'm standing here screaming my lungs out just to ease the pain. The more I fight, the more I fail. Exhaustion. Letting go. But I have learned that healing is something that happens, not something that you do. Pick a scar and tell a story. I'll tell you one of my own about addiction and self-loathing and a lack of self-control and the cuts I couldn't leave alone. So I pick my flesh straight down to the bone. A compulsion. A failed attempt to regain control. Some things are out of our hands. Dreamscapes in orange remind me that the cure for pain. So in my head I just keep repeating, "This too shall pass, This too shall pass, This too shall pass, This too shall pass." Life. Love. Remorse. Regret. Lost hope. This too shall pass. As this began, so shall it end.


I had forgotten how good this band is. I was driving to the vet to pick up my dog and put in an old burned cd and this is what i found. Another Breath. Like seriously this band got me through some rough times and I have always loved them. I'm so glad i rediscovered a band that I love. This song especially, hits home a lot.

This is my best friend Lindsay.
Lindsay helps me through times when i can't seem to breathe or even stand.
I can get through anything because i always have her in my life.
She is the strongest person i know and right now i'm upset at myself for being shitty to her.
Lindsay, if you read this i am sorry and i miss you in my life everyday.
As shitty as that apartment was, I loved it because i saw you 24/7.
My life isnt the same when i can't wake up on the weekends to you on the couch watching party monster.
I love you and i'm sorry i sucked.

In this miserable city, where status is gold.

DO WE HAVE A PROBLEM HERE, EXCUSE ME?
I THOUGHT I HAD MADE MYSELF CLEAR.

WE HAVE A PROBLEM HERE.
what do i have to do to be left alone?



got my hair cut today. all one length.

NO LOVE CAN SAVE ME.

I wish life was so much more less complicated then it is.
I wish i was really good at not overanalyzing everything.

It's cold as fuck outside, its amazing.
oh also, this too.

Some things I'll never know, I had to let them go.

Learning to let go and move on.
I'm starting over, learning to open up to people who have proven to be more like family than anything.

All i want for christmas, is for my brother to come home.
I wish he was here. I never thought I could miss someone this much.



I never thought missing you would hurt this much. I know you love it where you are, but the holidays are going to be particularly trying without you baby brother. I miss you everyday.